One night in April 2008, I decided to use my last 11 bags of heroin to go to sleep forever.
I’d just arrived in Los Angeles, alone, and finished smoking the end of my crack.
Other men pick up women at AA or NA meetings, masturbate compulsively, visit prostitutes and massage parlors, or spend multiple hours a day looking at online pornography.
These addictive relationships are distracting and dysfunctional, and they greatly increase the risk for substance abuse relapse.
From the bush, I could see the world go by, but they couldn’t see me.
I opened those 11 bags of heroin and sniffed them all—the most I’d ever done.
As with everyone addicted to drugs and alcohol, high-functioning addicts are not a lost cause.
Sometimes men relapse with drugs because they “need” the disinhibiting substance to reduce their sexual inhibitions.
Other times they relapse because their new playmate is using.
Men who stop using drugs or alcohol but have not yet addressed their underlying psychological issues and emotional challenges often transfer their chemical addiction into the sexual or romantic arena.
Many such men search obsessively, usually online or using smartphone apps, for sexual partners, regardless of whether they are in an existing relationship.