During the past two decades, I’ve dated both men in recovery and men who weren’t alcoholics (called “normies” by us in the program).I’m currently single again, a sober divorcée in the strange world of online dating. How do you allude to your past (and present) situations without lying or scaring off a potential match?I’ve been in and out of 12-step recovery programs (like Alcoholics Anonymous and Narcotics Anonymous) for almost 20 years.
True giving, as Erich Fromm points out, is other-oriented, and requires four elements.
The advice to not date or become involved with someone intimately during early recovery is a frequent point of resistance.
People involved in 12-step programs often rely on the “one-year rule” for guidance.
You can tell them, “I’ve been in six rehabs, four psych wards, and I’ve been arrested for assault.” And, they’re like, “Of course you have.” The downside is that they, too, are often a ticking time bomb.
Natasha, an ex-pat who's been on the wagon for 10 years agrees.